Reimagining the Holidays

 The season of celebration approaches and we must re-imagine Thanksgiving and winter festivities. We are advised not to gather in each other's homes and people tell me that they have encouraged their families not to come or have cancelled their plans to travel. Some of us are sad and disappointed, I imagine some of us are relieved, and many of us are resigned but a few of us are thinking up creative ways to stay connected: through the screen we can at least see each other's faces.

I offer a way to shift your perspective. We have been forced to take a pause and that pause has been filled with quiet contemplation, walks in the park, and moving events online, and also with the Black Lives Matter movement shaking us awake to racial injustice and one of the most tumultuous, emotional, painful and challenging elections in history. What if we applied the lesson we are learning to a new imagining of Thanksgiving? Instead of remembering a story told from the conquering invaders, what if we returned to the simplicity of gratitude for the harvest? Not a holiday to celebrate the survival of the pilgrims but a holiday to consider reparations, repair, and restoration to Native American people? What if it was a day focused on our hearts instead of achievement and conquest? There are Native American poets featured on the Academy of American poets website as a starting place to celebrate their rich culture. Or we can listen to Native American flute or watch a youtube presentation.

We can remember all those who provide the food at our table, the farmers and those who labor to bring in the harvest, the truckers and the grocery store stockers, the bakers, the clerks. We can pause to thank Mother Earth for her bounty and reflect on how all living beings are inter-connected. We can think about our carbon footprint. Instead of feeling bad or discouraged or worried, we can decide to change something we do habitually to being more conscious and caring of our impact. 

The winter celebration of Solstice is a time of remembering that in the darkness we yearn for Light and that in dark times we can contemplate what is true, where to focus our intention, and what is meaningful. The shortest day of the year and the official beginning of winter can be a time of ritual, lighting candles or fires in the fireplace or sparklers or lanterns as a way of calling in the light. Write a letter to 2020 to throw in the fire or draw things you want to let go of. You can do it as a family. Read poems. Create an affirmation to carry you through the transition to a new era. 

Some people are already putting up their Christmas trees and decorations, needing cheer to face a long winter of social isolation. What if we also plan outreach to others? Bring back the delight of cards in the mail and include seniors at a nursing home. Think of how we can contribute to our community besides donations: buying tickets to the local BIPOC-led theater? Books from a local bookstore? Is it posting a positive meme on Facebook or a shout out to an artist you know to draw attention to their work? 

There is healing in stillness and silence. Mindfully make the coffee and start the day with reading something inspiring instead of the news. Spend a few moments in gratitude and reflect on past joys. Is is a walk in the woods, a gathering of friends around the table, a beautiful view, a moment when your heart sang? Put on some music and dance. Take out your pen and write. Cut up magazines to collage. Creativity uplifts our hearts and you don't need a lot of supplies.

Not all of us have the privilege to be in stillness and silence. Offer your silence to the world. Give your love in small ways and bigger ways. Write an encouraging newsletter instead of just recounting what you did over the past year. Suggest inspiration: podcasts, books, music, meditations that have meant something to you.

For those in busy households with kids or parents, how can you find more mindfulness? Is it singing together or handing out glue sticks and paper? Can you slow down enough to let the kids help make meals or create a quiet reading space using a blanket? Can you play a board game or bead or build with Legos together? Do yoga or make popcorn strings to wrap around the tree? Learn a new language or listen to an audio book? Can you make clean up a game instead of a chore? 

I know it takes patience and it takes cooperation. Once upon a time, we went into the dark of winter without the screen to entertain us. We sat by the fire and told stories, we mended and repaired, whittled and polished, we sat quietly. We prayed. We listened to the sounds of the fire and of the wind. We had animals to care for. We played music and we watched the stars. We made things by hand. We cherished our elders.

How can you make the holidays meaningful? What are you willing to let go of to move toward joy?

Wendy's Muse: Self-compassion and Community

Wendy's Muse: Self-compassion and Community: I n this time of change, many people are experiencing trauma or re-triggering of trauma and unsettling uncertainty while the world as...

Self-compassion and Community

In this time of change, many people are experiencing trauma or re-triggering of trauma and unsettling uncertainty while the world as we knew it is transitioning to a new reality. We may feel unsure whether it is safe to resume ordinary activities and we grieve for all our losses, personally and nationally and internationally. How do we care for ourselves with compassion and strengthen our resiliency? What parts of our lives do we need to let go of and what ideas are we envisioning and birthing? 

It is essential to practice self-care. 

That might mean resuming a yoga practice or learning yoga for the first time. It might mean becoming uncomfortable with patterns of addiction to distract ourselves and instead learn something that has meaning: a new skill, a new art form or a return to one we once loved and didn't have time for, or new ways to communicate by taking a class. It might mean that we are stuck with the face in the mirror and need to coach ourselves to speak to her or him with love and empathy. "You can do it, you are loved, you have everything you need, trust your inner heart and inner guidance." Maybe we are in silence for long stretches and have the opportunity for reflection on where we have come from and where we want to go. Or maybe we are surrounded by noisy family members: how do we carve out the quiet and solitude we need?

How about your practice of gratitude? 

Where are you using it to raise your vibration? I feel incredibly lucky to be safe and have a place to live, food in the fridge, loved ones close by, books that inspire and books for sheer entertainment, the possibility of new work, and time to contemplate the nature of God. I grieve all that is lost, all those who are suffering, all those trapped either literally in prison cells or mind cages, all that has been destroyed on our Mother Earth. So much pruning to be done, of our attitudes and beliefs and ways of commerce and health care and education and interaction and policing and politics. But grateful each day when the trees blow in the breeze in their green glory and when I recall the beautiful places I have been, even if I may never see them again. 

Wisdom is loving the mistakes we made, a wise old friend once said. How do I love my mistakes and recognize them as lamps in the dark along the way?Take this time, if you can, to eat well, exercise, meditate or practice mindfulness, reach out (virtually) to loved ones, serve your community with your gifts, whether it is marching, petitioning and writing letters, writing poems, sharing uplifting memes as well as hard truths, feeding your family or donating to the food bank, buying books from local bookstores, patronizing Black-owned businesses, comforting a child, calling an elder, showing up in difficult conversations. 

Give yourself a hug.  


Seriously: cross your right arm and place your fingers just under your ribs. Press lightly. Cross the left arm and lay your hand on your right shoulder. Lay your head on your hand and squeeze. You are the light the world is waiting for. Also if you would like a resource for self-reflective writing, my book Heart on the Page: A Portable Writing Workshop is now available at Subtext Books in Saint Paul and you also support a locally owned bookstore! https://subtextbooks.com

Self-regulation for stress, overwhelm, burn out and trauma

During this time of the pandemic and the uprising triggered by the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, we may be feeling what I call a tsunami of emotions. Our flight or fight center of the brain, the amygdala, has been triggered. We may have experienced isolation from friends and family, worry about job loss and collapse of our economic systems, loss of a home, or fear of the future. We may be aware that others are suffering even more than we are: that some of us are experiencing domestic abuse, health challenges, loss of loved ones, homelessness, or helplessness at the size of the challenges we face. Not only are we in the middle of a huge shift as we face climate change and the need for envisioning social justice, from affordable housing to our criminal justice system, from health care to systemic racism, we also are in the midst of an evolution of humankind. This evolution can take us from independent to inter-dependent, from I to we, from worrying about our own stuff to collaboration and cooperation and creating a more just society for all. But if we are resistant or confused or wounded, this may sound like a pipe dream.

On every level, we are overwhelmed. Bombarded by information, some of it true and some not. Connected via the web to the world, both the beauty and tragedies. Conflicted by so many choices to be made. Learning new technology to keep our jobs or demanding universal health care so no one is dying for lack of it.

I have the good fortune to be able to stay home and not feel isolated, due to many connections via virtual reality: podcasts, zoom meetings,webinars, videos, and phone calls. So much so, that sometimes I need a break from the human voice. I have found it challenging to keep up my writing practice and yet, I have written a manuscript during this time. It is called Spiritual Practices to Deepen Creativity, so far. What I have learned is that we can help ourselves by breathing, by slowing down and paying attention to our bodies and breath, and by focusing on gratitude, forgiveness, and service. Now, these are not easy spiritual practices and that's why I wrote a book with a chapter on each one. But I wanted to offer you right away some mindful breath practices that can help self-regulate the nervous system, re-calibrate your heart and mind, and give yourself respite and self-compassion.

I also do yoga through video, walk and sit in the park across the street, eat healthy foods, run an online writing class, and limit my scrolling through the news when I start to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I fill myself with quiet and entertain myself with shows such as Call the Midwife or Somebody Feed Phil, to uplift my spirits with humor and kindness. Fill your well with what makes your spirit rise. Come back to roll up your sleeves as you are ready.

Mindfulness Practice

1.) Calming Breath

Settle into your chair or wherever you are seated. If you feel comfortable, close your eyes or look downward and inward. Breathe in for the count of 5, hold for the count of 5, then breathe out for a longer count of 7. You can shorten or length this practice so long as the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. You can lengthen the final out-breath to end in a long sigh.

2.) Green Earth, Gold Sky

Plant feet on the floor and let shoulders relax. Close your eyes if you can. Use a visualization: Imagine green light coming up from the earth through the soles of your feet and golden light coming down through your head. As you breathe in and breathe out, green and golden light fill every cell in your body and shine out through your heart. Take 5 long intentional breaths, then come back to the room and open your eyes.

3.) Mindful Listening

Close your eyes if you feel comfortable or look inward. Take some long deep breaths and let breath out slowly. Focus your attention on sounds. What do you hear in the room you are in? What can you hear that is outside the room you are in? What can you hear inside your own body? Continue to breathe in and out and notice the moment when your in-breath becomes your out-breath and when your out-breath becomes your in-breath. When you are ready, open your eyes and come back to the room.

4.) I AM Affirmations

Settle your body comfortably and close your eyes if you feel comfortable or use a soft downward gaze. Take 3 deep breaths in and let them out slowly. Then as you breathe in, say “I AM” and as you breathe out, say “healing.” Do this until you are ready to shift to another word: breathe in “I AM” breathe out “grateful”. Breathe in “I AM”, breathe out “peaceful.” You can repeat the word or move to another word. Continue breathing with affirmations until you feel ready to just breathe a few more times, then come back to the room and open your eyes.

5.) Inner Guidance

Settle into your chair with your feet flat on the ground. Shrug your shoulders, then relax them, wiggle your toes, then relax them. Clench your fists, then relax them on your lap. Maybe roll your head a little from side to side, then relax. Take a breath in and let it out slowly. With each breath, draw in the in-breathe as deeply as you can, hold it for a count of 5, then release it as slowly as you can. On the fifth breath, let your breath out with a sigh. Do that again. Then read this affirmation:

Guidance is not something that we have to gain. It is something to which we attune. Repeat.

Here is the link to my online class:

https://app.ruzuku.com/courses/43516/about

Heart on the Page is available on Amazon

Available from BookBaby

Cultivating Resiliency

We've learned by now that this is not a sprint but a long stretch. I hope we have settled into a new way of doing things, from taking only necessary trips to the grocery store to handling online learning and working from home to watching our church service live-streamed to finding ways to keep ourselves healthy in mind, body and spirit. I imagine many of us are feeling confined and some of us are in situations that are unpleasant and perhaps even dangerous. My heart goes out to those people in difficult life circumstances.

I think about the incarcerated writers in my classes. They know what it means to be confined. Writing is one of the ways they cope. Faith in something bigger than yourself is another. Keeping your body active, even if it means stretching in your cell/bedroom, is another. A sense of humor and a desire to grow are all part of dealing with the reality of confinement.

Most of us have multiple ways to cope: our devices for entertainment and to stay connected, books on our shelves, board games, art supplies, cooking supplies, backyard gardens, and of course, the phone. I have started a practice of calling someone in my contact list or someone I would normally see on a regular basis just to say hello and remind them they matter to me.

Resiliency can be cultivated by practicing those things that fill up our souls. This might be meditation and prayer, singing in a choir or in the shower, a community of like-minded people (now online rather than in person), gardening and being in nature, play and imagination, reading uplifting messages and affirmations, and writing or journaling our thoughts and feelings.

I am going to suggest that if you journal, remember to write long enough that you can make a shift. What lesson have you learned, what is the meaning of your experience, how has it made you who you are? What part of your experience would you not give up and did you grow in understanding or awareness?

Here are a few tips to use your writing as a springboard for deepening insight:

If you were to write about your experience today of social distancing, what aspect of the experience gives you the most calm, a sense of being present, or a feeling of plugging in to something greater?

Is that experience dependent on your body being engaged, still, or focused? Is it dependent on paying attention or dropping into a flow state of concentrated awareness and creativity? It is allowing  instead of complaining? Is it something you can repeat when you start to feel overwhelmed or is it something you can recall?

What aspect has been hardest and what has been easiest?
What creative solutions have you used and what has become a milestone along your path?

Research on positive states of mind demonstrate that our default mode when something difficult or painful happens, such as fear or conflict, is to ruminate over and over, creating a pathway in our minds until we either move it into our prefrontal cortext by naming and examining it or we find a solution such as to run away or defend ourselves. When we have a positive experience of calm, contentment, gratitude, happiness, satisfaction, love, and joy, etc, we can notice and pay attention to the moment instead of letting it slip away. Then we can also recall these moments back to mind when we are having a rough time. The recollection of the positive emotion can rewire our brains.

One way to remember a moment is to write it down. Describe it using sensual details such as sounds, scents, smells, or colors. For example today when I took a walk in the park, I noticed that the sun felt warm and the breeze was cool. I sat down by the splash pad and recalled when the kids were there, shrieking with delight as they ran in and out of the sprays of water, how happy it made me feel to witness their joy. I could hear their laughter and feel the spray of cool water as they ran past. Or look at the photo below and write what memories it evokes.

In this time of crisis and hope

In this moment, we are aware that the world is one. As the COVOID-19 pandemic sweeps across the globe, we understand that we are interconnected. We have learned the necessity of taking drastic measures to keep our most vulnerable citizens safe. We are asked to stay home.

This feels like the moment just before the evolutionary leap into a new way of being together.

We must be inventive and innovative and visionary. We must chose faith over fear and love over pessimism. This is a moment to practice our spiritual principles of trust, mindfulness, surrender, forgiveness, gratitude, joy, prayer, blessing, and service.

This is a sacred moment. This is a moment between the world we knew and the one that is coming.

We knew in our hearts that the time would come to move forward on our next step of evolution, although it came at lightning speed and felt shocking. We didn't realize how much we might have to give up or how deeply we need to change.

I certainly didn't know that it would be this soon when I predicted that we would no longer be able to jump on a plane any time we wanted to go wherever we wanted. If only I had taken those words more seriously and traveled to Spain months ago! And yet, I can't doubt that this is the way it must be.

This is a wake up call to take a leap toward We-consciousness and good stewardship of Mother Earth.

To take a pause and to reflect and to re-calibrate.

The world is reeling from the possibility of financial collapse. Our most vulnerable citizens will be impacted profoundly and irrevocably: children dependent on school lunches, the homeless who can't practice social distancing, incarcerated people without excellent medical care, the socially isolated elderly, detainees in immigration centers living in harsh conditions. As well, doctors and nurses are overwhelmed and overtaxed. I grieve the suffering that is happening and that will increase. I know this is a very hard time for many. If there is a reason to pray, these dear souls are it.

But on the other hand, look at what we have done to our Earth: the loss of species, habitats and wilderness, poisoned water and air, devastating fires and floods, fracking and garbage strewn beaches. Notice that Venice's canals now run with clean water, the skies over China are clearing, and quiet time with family is a long-lost pleasure.

Creative solutions and compassionate acts of kindness bring us together.

Some humans will react with fear and panic, stock-piling and hoarding supplies, blaming others, feeling cheated out of what has been a life of privilege. It's a privilege to eat bananas shipped from South American; to fill an enormous gas tank; drive a few blocks to drop kids off at school; to have clean, well-stocked libraries. To have toilet paper and running hot water and electricity. To fly anywhere for the fun of it. All we take for granted also have their costs.

This is a moment to appreciate what we have inside, our creative urge, our tolerance, our ability for self-awareness and kindness. We can slow down and become intentional and thoughtful. Talk together in our homes, play board games with our kids, be inventive using the supplies around us to make art or music, think of ways to reach out to those who might need a hand. Drop groceries off at the elderly neighbors or ask what we can pick up for them, write cards for those in the nursing home, or buy a ticket to a concert we will never be able to attend. Sing out our windows. Stroll carefully and mindfully outdoors. Ask those organizations who take in the homeless what we can do to help.

This is a moment that will show us who we are: our courage, our resiliency, our faith, our connection, our love for each other and for Mother Earth.

Practice loving-kindness and gratitude, and we'll move into the beings of Light we were always meant to be.