Self-regulation for stress, overwhelm, burn out and trauma

During this time of the pandemic and the uprising triggered by the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, we may be feeling what I call a tsunami of emotions. Our flight or fight center of the brain, the amygdala, has been triggered. We may have experienced isolation from friends and family, worry about job loss and collapse of our economic systems, loss of a home, or fear of the future. We may be aware that others are suffering even more than we are: that some of us are experiencing domestic abuse, health challenges, loss of loved ones, homelessness, or helplessness at the size of the challenges we face. Not only are we in the middle of a huge shift as we face climate change and the need for envisioning social justice, from affordable housing to our criminal justice system, from health care to systemic racism, we also are in the midst of an evolution of humankind. This evolution can take us from independent to inter-dependent, from I to we, from worrying about our own stuff to collaboration and cooperation and creating a more just society for all. But if we are resistant or confused or wounded, this may sound like a pipe dream.

On every level, we are overwhelmed. Bombarded by information, some of it true and some not. Connected via the web to the world, both the beauty and tragedies. Conflicted by so many choices to be made. Learning new technology to keep our jobs or demanding universal health care so no one is dying for lack of it.

I have the good fortune to be able to stay home and not feel isolated, due to many connections via virtual reality: podcasts, zoom meetings,webinars, videos, and phone calls. So much so, that sometimes I need a break from the human voice. I have found it challenging to keep up my writing practice and yet, I have written a manuscript during this time. It is called Spiritual Practices to Deepen Creativity, so far. What I have learned is that we can help ourselves by breathing, by slowing down and paying attention to our bodies and breath, and by focusing on gratitude, forgiveness, and service. Now, these are not easy spiritual practices and that's why I wrote a book with a chapter on each one. But I wanted to offer you right away some mindful breath practices that can help self-regulate the nervous system, re-calibrate your heart and mind, and give yourself respite and self-compassion.

I also do yoga through video, walk and sit in the park across the street, eat healthy foods, run an online writing class, and limit my scrolling through the news when I start to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I fill myself with quiet and entertain myself with shows such as Call the Midwife or Somebody Feed Phil, to uplift my spirits with humor and kindness. Fill your well with what makes your spirit rise. Come back to roll up your sleeves as you are ready.

Mindfulness Practice

1.) Calming Breath

Settle into your chair or wherever you are seated. If you feel comfortable, close your eyes or look downward and inward. Breathe in for the count of 5, hold for the count of 5, then breathe out for a longer count of 7. You can shorten or length this practice so long as the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. You can lengthen the final out-breath to end in a long sigh.

2.) Green Earth, Gold Sky

Plant feet on the floor and let shoulders relax. Close your eyes if you can. Use a visualization: Imagine green light coming up from the earth through the soles of your feet and golden light coming down through your head. As you breathe in and breathe out, green and golden light fill every cell in your body and shine out through your heart. Take 5 long intentional breaths, then come back to the room and open your eyes.

3.) Mindful Listening

Close your eyes if you feel comfortable or look inward. Take some long deep breaths and let breath out slowly. Focus your attention on sounds. What do you hear in the room you are in? What can you hear that is outside the room you are in? What can you hear inside your own body? Continue to breathe in and out and notice the moment when your in-breath becomes your out-breath and when your out-breath becomes your in-breath. When you are ready, open your eyes and come back to the room.

4.) I AM Affirmations

Settle your body comfortably and close your eyes if you feel comfortable or use a soft downward gaze. Take 3 deep breaths in and let them out slowly. Then as you breathe in, say “I AM” and as you breathe out, say “healing.” Do this until you are ready to shift to another word: breathe in “I AM” breathe out “grateful”. Breathe in “I AM”, breathe out “peaceful.” You can repeat the word or move to another word. Continue breathing with affirmations until you feel ready to just breathe a few more times, then come back to the room and open your eyes.

5.) Inner Guidance

Settle into your chair with your feet flat on the ground. Shrug your shoulders, then relax them, wiggle your toes, then relax them. Clench your fists, then relax them on your lap. Maybe roll your head a little from side to side, then relax. Take a breath in and let it out slowly. With each breath, draw in the in-breathe as deeply as you can, hold it for a count of 5, then release it as slowly as you can. On the fifth breath, let your breath out with a sigh. Do that again. Then read this affirmation:

Guidance is not something that we have to gain. It is something to which we attune. Repeat.

Here is the link to my online class:

https://app.ruzuku.com/courses/43516/about

Heart on the Page is available on Amazon

Available from BookBaby

Cultivating Resiliency

We've learned by now that this is not a sprint but a long stretch. I hope we have settled into a new way of doing things, from taking only necessary trips to the grocery store to handling online learning and working from home to watching our church service live-streamed to finding ways to keep ourselves healthy in mind, body and spirit. I imagine many of us are feeling confined and some of us are in situations that are unpleasant and perhaps even dangerous. My heart goes out to those people in difficult life circumstances.

I think about the incarcerated writers in my classes. They know what it means to be confined. Writing is one of the ways they cope. Faith in something bigger than yourself is another. Keeping your body active, even if it means stretching in your cell/bedroom, is another. A sense of humor and a desire to grow are all part of dealing with the reality of confinement.

Most of us have multiple ways to cope: our devices for entertainment and to stay connected, books on our shelves, board games, art supplies, cooking supplies, backyard gardens, and of course, the phone. I have started a practice of calling someone in my contact list or someone I would normally see on a regular basis just to say hello and remind them they matter to me.

Resiliency can be cultivated by practicing those things that fill up our souls. This might be meditation and prayer, singing in a choir or in the shower, a community of like-minded people (now online rather than in person), gardening and being in nature, play and imagination, reading uplifting messages and affirmations, and writing or journaling our thoughts and feelings.

I am going to suggest that if you journal, remember to write long enough that you can make a shift. What lesson have you learned, what is the meaning of your experience, how has it made you who you are? What part of your experience would you not give up and did you grow in understanding or awareness?

Here are a few tips to use your writing as a springboard for deepening insight:

If you were to write about your experience today of social distancing, what aspect of the experience gives you the most calm, a sense of being present, or a feeling of plugging in to something greater?

Is that experience dependent on your body being engaged, still, or focused? Is it dependent on paying attention or dropping into a flow state of concentrated awareness and creativity? It is allowing  instead of complaining? Is it something you can repeat when you start to feel overwhelmed or is it something you can recall?

What aspect has been hardest and what has been easiest?
What creative solutions have you used and what has become a milestone along your path?

Research on positive states of mind demonstrate that our default mode when something difficult or painful happens, such as fear or conflict, is to ruminate over and over, creating a pathway in our minds until we either move it into our prefrontal cortext by naming and examining it or we find a solution such as to run away or defend ourselves. When we have a positive experience of calm, contentment, gratitude, happiness, satisfaction, love, and joy, etc, we can notice and pay attention to the moment instead of letting it slip away. Then we can also recall these moments back to mind when we are having a rough time. The recollection of the positive emotion can rewire our brains.

One way to remember a moment is to write it down. Describe it using sensual details such as sounds, scents, smells, or colors. For example today when I took a walk in the park, I noticed that the sun felt warm and the breeze was cool. I sat down by the splash pad and recalled when the kids were there, shrieking with delight as they ran in and out of the sprays of water, how happy it made me feel to witness their joy. I could hear their laughter and feel the spray of cool water as they ran past. Or look at the photo below and write what memories it evokes.

In this time of crisis and hope

In this moment, we are aware that the world is one. As the COVOID-19 pandemic sweeps across the globe, we understand that we are interconnected. We have learned the necessity of taking drastic measures to keep our most vulnerable citizens safe. We are asked to stay home.

This feels like the moment just before the evolutionary leap into a new way of being together.

We must be inventive and innovative and visionary. We must chose faith over fear and love over pessimism. This is a moment to practice our spiritual principles of trust, mindfulness, surrender, forgiveness, gratitude, joy, prayer, blessing, and service.

This is a sacred moment. This is a moment between the world we knew and the one that is coming.

We knew in our hearts that the time would come to move forward on our next step of evolution, although it came at lightning speed and felt shocking. We didn't realize how much we might have to give up or how deeply we need to change.

I certainly didn't know that it would be this soon when I predicted that we would no longer be able to jump on a plane any time we wanted to go wherever we wanted. If only I had taken those words more seriously and traveled to Spain months ago! And yet, I can't doubt that this is the way it must be.

This is a wake up call to take a leap toward We-consciousness and good stewardship of Mother Earth.

To take a pause and to reflect and to re-calibrate.

The world is reeling from the possibility of financial collapse. Our most vulnerable citizens will be impacted profoundly and irrevocably: children dependent on school lunches, the homeless who can't practice social distancing, incarcerated people without excellent medical care, the socially isolated elderly, detainees in immigration centers living in harsh conditions. As well, doctors and nurses are overwhelmed and overtaxed. I grieve the suffering that is happening and that will increase. I know this is a very hard time for many. If there is a reason to pray, these dear souls are it.

But on the other hand, look at what we have done to our Earth: the loss of species, habitats and wilderness, poisoned water and air, devastating fires and floods, fracking and garbage strewn beaches. Notice that Venice's canals now run with clean water, the skies over China are clearing, and quiet time with family is a long-lost pleasure.

Creative solutions and compassionate acts of kindness bring us together.

Some humans will react with fear and panic, stock-piling and hoarding supplies, blaming others, feeling cheated out of what has been a life of privilege. It's a privilege to eat bananas shipped from South American; to fill an enormous gas tank; drive a few blocks to drop kids off at school; to have clean, well-stocked libraries. To have toilet paper and running hot water and electricity. To fly anywhere for the fun of it. All we take for granted also have their costs.

This is a moment to appreciate what we have inside, our creative urge, our tolerance, our ability for self-awareness and kindness. We can slow down and become intentional and thoughtful. Talk together in our homes, play board games with our kids, be inventive using the supplies around us to make art or music, think of ways to reach out to those who might need a hand. Drop groceries off at the elderly neighbors or ask what we can pick up for them, write cards for those in the nursing home, or buy a ticket to a concert we will never be able to attend. Sing out our windows. Stroll carefully and mindfully outdoors. Ask those organizations who take in the homeless what we can do to help.

This is a moment that will show us who we are: our courage, our resiliency, our faith, our connection, our love for each other and for Mother Earth.

Practice loving-kindness and gratitude, and we'll move into the beings of Light we were always meant to be.

I am thrilled to announce that my book 

Heart on the Page: A Portable Writing Workshop is now available from me and will be available on Amazon for the official book launch in February 2020.

Launch party will take place on Feb 18th @ 7:00 pm 

at Pathways: A Healing Center

3115 Hennepin Ave Mpls

I will read a selection from the book, followed by Q & A, and book signing. 

Light refreshments will be served

 to pre-order: wendybrownbaez.com

Heart on the Page: A Portable Writing Workshop is an inspirational guide for both individual writers and writing instructors who teach in institutions, non-profit organizations, and healing centers. It begins with Wendy Brown-Baez’s own search for healing and interweaves stories of her workshop experiences with practical advice on how to inspire writers who may not think of themselves as writers but have a story to tell. Specific poems and prompts used to access intuitive guidance are interwoven with suggestions on how to engage participants with physical or emotional health challenges. Writing and sharing stories activates the ability to find meaning after trauma, loss, or transition. The book is a valuable resource for staff or volunteers who wish to incorporate therapeutic writing for healing, self-awareness and creative expression with clients and for their own self-care.   

EXCERPT FROM HEART ON THE PAGE: A PORTABLE WRITING WORKSHOP by Wendy Brown-Baez 

Writing for Healing
My healing story begins not with my own healing but with seeking solutions for my companion’s depression. Michael’s periods of depression seemed endless as he responded negatively to every circumstance. 

With a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder, the puzzle pieces fell into place, but he hated the way medication made him feel. We lived in Santa Fe, New Mexico, a Mecca for alternative healing, and I began to search for alternatives to prescription drugs. Earthwalks for Health was part of that search. Earthwalks connected us to indigenous artists and local sages to learn about their traditional spirituality and healing practices. This is how I met Joan Logghe, beloved Santa Fe poet. Joan was the founder of Write Action, a writing support group for people who were HIV positive. As time went on, they either died or became so well, they no longer had the time or inclination to attend, so she opened it up to anyone with a physical or mental health challenge. 

Joan had worked with Natalie Goldberg and used the same basic writing instruction that so many writing instructors and writing groups would come to rely on: spontaneous timed writing. Pick a time, put pen to the paper and keep it moving, not stopping to consider grammar or sentence structure or even if it makes sense. 

Joan used poems as prompts. In this way, we entered the rhythm of language. The poetic associations and images we read inspired our own words. From her, I learned that by sharing my own work, I create a sense of intimacy and inspire confidence in others to share. I consider her a friend and a mentor, someone who showed by her example how to lead writing for healing and how to create a safe, welcoming space.

Eventually Michael became more and more mentally unstable and one night he gathered up the courage to end his mental torment by killing himself. I wept until my eyes were swollen shut but I was released from care giving and uplifted by a burst of creative energy. To be able to pour out my grieving heart onto the page in the writing groups was cathartic. To know that others were willing to be on the journey, accompanying me through the muck, was lifesaving. From that point on, writing became not only a way of self-expression but a life raft that saved me from drowning. When emotions feel overwhelming, writing helps me to stay focused. Writing helps me to analyze and understand what I am feeling and to make a shift from emotion to clarity.

Ten years later, I received the Minnesota State Arts Board Artist Initiative grant. Pathways was one of my targeted organizations. I led workshops specifically for caregivers to have a break, for self-care. Every other Thursday afternoon became my niche from that time on. 

Pathways: A Healing Center offers free mind-body-spirit workshops for clients and their families. The class I offered at Pathways was called Care for the Caregiver. Participants came and went in this writing group, depending on a conflict when other services are offered, energy levels, or the ability to have someone take over their duties. Often the participants had their own health challenges. Word of mouth spread about the benefits of the group and in 2016, I changed the name to Writing for Healing. Since then, at each session we have a group of 6-10 people. 

Writing opens our hearts so that we can be authentic. Many caregivers and those with health challenges are angry, frustrated, frightened, grieving, and exhausted. Caregivers succumb to being completely available, both emotionally and physically, to the demands of care giving, and feel they must keep up a strong, cheerful, optimistic façade.

In our writing group, we can let down the façade and explore what we yearn for, what our passions are, and what give us solace and spiritual nourishment. We can plan for the future and coach ourselves through fear and grief by being present and reminding ourselves to focus on the present. We remind ourselves of the many gifts we have and the support system of family, friends, and organizations such as Pathways. We write about making choices based on knowing ourselves and accepting our limitations and honoring our vision of what can be. We realize we walk a path of compassion with strength, courage, and wisdom. We learn that others have also walked this path and we have a sense of commonality and community. Our inner resilience becomes more certain and we acknowledge blessings along the way.

TYPICAL WRITING PROMPTS FOR CAREGIVERS
I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to—
List all the things you do for yourself, from the smallest thing such as a bubble bath to taking yoga, walking, or calling a friend: how do you raise your vibration?
What brings you joy?

What gives you bliss?

What do you yearn for?

How do you have fun?

What do you do for pleasure?
I promise myself—
What my tears tell me

POEM: Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye

PROMPT: what I left behind and what I was able to keep—

POEM: Antilamentation by Dorianne Laux

PROMPTS: what I regret and what I don’t regret
what you gave me—

POEM: Permission Granted by David Allen Sullivan

PROMPT: I give myself permission to—

POEM: The Tao of Touch by Marge Piercy

PROMPT: what nourishes me

© 2019 Wendy Brown-Baez

Wendy is available to present writing workshops for your support group, staff development meetings, writers group, and book club. She trains staff, volunteers, and writing instructors to practice therapeutic writing for clients and for self-care. www.wendybrownbaez.com