Announcing my newest book of poetry Threading the Gold: poems written as artist-in-residence at Westminster Church

 

Threading the Gold: contemplative poems

I am thrilled to announce my book of spiritual poetry Threading the Gold is now available through BookBaby : https://tinyurl.com/bdd7s6rj

and for pre-order on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/c8zkv4x8

This poetry collection takes us on a journey from Advent to Lent during a time of conflict and chaos on the global stage and an increase in those who are in dire circumstances, through reflections and responses to what was heard and experienced while attending worship services and adult education classes as artist-in-residence at Westminster Presbyterian Church. These poems consider the balance between a mystical path of inner contemplation and a heartfelt desire toward activism. They ask how do we align with Divine Love and what is our responsibility to our neighbors, even when those neighbors are in a country across the globe? What does it mean to be broken and whole at the same time and who do we turn to when we feel devastated by loss and outrage? Where do we find the Divine in difficult times and what do these ancient stories have to teach us? These poems include imagining several Biblical figures and their choices and decisions, and what we might learn from them. They reflect on loss and grief and grace. They take us through a portal to witness the holy in the ordinary and the power of prayer to uplift our consciousness. They pay attention to sorrow and joy and the dance between repose and ecstasy. They are grounded in spiritual practice and inquiry that lead to healing and transformation. From the weariness of Santa trying to find the homes of those who do not have a home to the joy of finding connection and community, these poems illuminate the gold of spiritual awareness threaded through all circumstances.

The Blessings of having a disability

My physical challenges are not something I discuss very often because I don't let them stop me from doing what I want to do. After all, I traveled to Chicago for the first AWP conference on two canes, a month after hip replacement surgery, and performed poetry at the Green Mill Jazz Club.

 My condition has resulted in severe arthritis in all my joints. As a one-year-old, I had congenital hip dislocation, and had to be in a full body cast for a year and braces for the next two years, a daytime one that came up from a shoe to buckle around my pelvis and a nighttime one that was a long rod between my feet (I learned to walk around the house by swinging from one foot to the other). When I turned 12, the doctors discovered my hip shelf had never developed. I had surgery on both hips which involved bone graphs, a giant pin and smaller pins, and a body cast from under my breasts to my feet, followed by crutches. (8 weeks in cast and 10 weeks on crutches on left side, 10 weeks in cast and 12 weeks on crutches on right side.)

 .

But after that, I was very active! I danced, walked, biked, did yoga, and carried kids on my hips as a mother

and as a professional nanny. I carried boxes of groceries to feed the homeless, hiked up hillsides to camp, and moved furniture as a preschool teacher. I carried babies on my back and split wood for the wood stove. I walked two miles to work and back, and then went out dancing!

Dancing with Poetry: with Word Dancers in Santa Fe

The hip replacements were not a surprise at ages 54 and 55. The pain was intolerable due to being bone-on-bone. The surprise was when my doctor told me my bones were like those of a 70-year-old woman. I have no cartilage in my hands, and my feet are telling me maybe there as well. My orthopedic surgeon is aware that I am reluctant to do more surgery; I am grateful for the hip replacements but my hips are not the same.

 The blessing is that I was able to get on disability and Medicare, which enabled me to focus on my writing. I didn't have to search for another full time job that involved being on my feet.

 The blessing was to appreciate all that my body has learned and enjoyed, knowing that some of those activities will never feel the same. The blessing is learning about prana healing and healing circles and the power of prayer.

 Today I walked around the duck pond, walking past the pain in my back, to enjoy the fresh air and sun on my face. After one circle and a rest, the second trip around was better. I used to love being outside and could get almost anywhere by walking or biking—I took so much for granted.

 Today I am grateful for the yoga classes on line that help with flexibility and stamina. I notice that yoga is being added to writers' conferences and retreats. I'm not the only one who needs a break from sitting to stretch and breathe deeply.

 I am grateful to better understand my students in writing workshops who deal with chronic pain. At least mine can be assuaged with arnica, CBD oil, and the infrared heating pad. Tylenol only when desperate....

 I am grateful for the fact that my condition was passed down through the women in my family and I have a son and grandsons.

 The blessings of my disability is that I am not always spontaneous and can't just run out the door, hoping to get everything done. I have to plan my steps, how much is realistic and where to stop and rest. That may not seem like a blessing to you but in fact, it makes me more productive in the long run because it makes me more focused.

 The blessing is that whenever we are different from the models shown to us on the media, we know we also have gifts, talents, and an authentic presence. We are quick to compare ourselves and judge. I hope that the checkout clerk will be patient when I pack up my groceries. I wave on the driver of the car paused at the corner who may not be patient enough to give me the time I need to cross the street, in particular if it is icy. And I have to swallow my pride and tell the bus drivers to lower the ramp so I can ascend and descend, or they will be watching me hesitate, cling to the handle, and haul myself up.

 I don't mind the silver in my hair but I do mourn the way my body once was able to joyfully express itself without holding back or paying the consequences later. I don't mind that my body is a map of desires, births, accidents, and inheritance, but lately getting up from kneeling is a project accompanied by pain in the knees. (O no!)

 Thank God for suitcases on wheels and for Uber drivers! For friends who help push the grocery cart and unload the trunk. For the grace to receive the help I need instead of resentment that I need it. For grabbers and extra-long shoehorns. For all the ways my body has been my horse, as the poem goes, and is now my nag.

 Question
       By May Swenson  
 Body my house
my horse my hound  
what will I do
when you are fallen
 
Where will I sleep  
How will I ride  
What will I hunt
 
Where can I go
without my mount  
all eager and quick  
How will I know  
in thicket ahead
is danger or treasure  
when Body my good  
bright dog is dead
 
How will it be
to lie in the sky
without roof or door  
and wind for an eye
 
With cloud for shift  
how will I hide?
 
 
 
 
 
 

Taking Care of Ourselves: Self-love and Gratitude

A few years ago, I remarked in my Writing for Healing group at Pathways that it takes more work to care for ourselves than ever before. By caring for ourselves, I am referring to ways to uplift our spirits. I am referring to feeling connected to each other and to our inner guidance, and living in harmony with all that is around us, including Mother Nature. To be positive and to experience calm. We feel our pain and yet we do not let it stop us from moving toward healing and wholeness. Our life force is strong and our hearts are open. Of course, this also means eating well, getting enough rest, de-stressing, exercise, gentle touch, and loving relationships. 

Here we are in 2021 with the pandemic all around us and I know people are exhausted and disheartened with the continuing social isolation, economic uncertainty and the challenges of constant family interaction, which might include a lack of privacy or abusive family dynamics. The boost of optimism during the inauguration was followed by the climate disaster in Texas, mutations of the virus, and roll out of the vaccine inhibited. 

We need to remind ourselves that we are experiencing a transition to a consciousness of our collective responsibility to care for the earth and all humankind. It may feel daunting to realize how much we need to lessen our carbon footprint. As we awaken to the sanctity of all life--knowing we share this one planet--we will have to make changes personally, and together as a country.

One simple way to uplift our spirits is to shift our focus from regret, worry, or frustration to gratitude. 

Ultimately gratitude is a practice, one that we have to be pro-active to get better at.

How can we feel grateful when life is painful, difficult, or traumatizing? When grief feels unending and even our ability to survive is precarious? We need to establish a practice that we use in good times and in bad. In difficult times, this practice might be noticing a few simple things in daily life: someone we love, something we care about, the changing skies and seasons, a memory of good times, a scent, a set of colored pens, a book from the library, our own strong hands or feet, words of wisdom from our ancestors, or that someone loved us when we were a child. I have lived in places where we had to haul cold water from a faucet as there was no indoor plumbing, and to this day I am grateful when hot water comes out of the tap. I have heard trees crashing along the street during a storm and to this day, I say a prayer of thanks for a home. If your home is not safe or you can't turn on hot water, are there other things you can be grateful for: the neighbor who sheltered you, your strong arms that can carry buckets, the fruit you picked from a tree, the sunrise? 

Why is this so important? Gratitude strengthens us, boosts our immune system, and increases our ability to be flexible and to reach out. Gratitude is like a magnet, attracting more good into our life. Or maybe by shifting our focus, we see the good that is already there, or recognize the good that is possible. 

What if at the end of the day we thanked ourselves for our tenacity, our determination, our willingness, our love, our kindness? What if we were grateful for our dreams, for not giving up, for believing in a better world? How would that change our identity, our sense of who we are, and give us support to keep moving? What if we think of social isolation as a gift of time to reflect and get in touch with our inner voice and of our exhaustion as permission to find respite and to detach from the world a bit? 

We are so much more than our worst days. We are creative and our minds are very powerful. From years of leading writing workshops, I know our biggest challenge is to love ourselves unconditionally, not because of what we do but just because we are. If we are here, as Joanna Macy says, we belong. If we are here, we deserve to be loved. Take a moment and reflect on the ways you are grateful that you showed up during this time of planetary transformation. You have what it takes to be an authentic loving masterful human being. 

Reimagining the Holidays

 The season of celebration approaches and we must re-imagine Thanksgiving and winter festivities. We are advised not to gather in each other's homes and people tell me that they have encouraged their families not to come or have cancelled their plans to travel. Some of us are sad and disappointed, I imagine some of us are relieved, and many of us are resigned but a few of us are thinking up creative ways to stay connected: through the screen we can at least see each other's faces.

I offer a way to shift your perspective. We have been forced to take a pause and that pause has been filled with quiet contemplation, walks in the park, and moving events online, and also with the Black Lives Matter movement shaking us awake to racial injustice and one of the most tumultuous, emotional, painful and challenging elections in history. What if we applied the lesson we are learning to a new imagining of Thanksgiving? Instead of remembering a story told from the conquering invaders, what if we returned to the simplicity of gratitude for the harvest? Not a holiday to celebrate the survival of the pilgrims but a holiday to consider reparations, repair, and restoration to Native American people? What if it was a day focused on our hearts instead of achievement and conquest? There are Native American poets featured on the Academy of American poets website as a starting place to celebrate their rich culture. Or we can listen to Native American flute or watch a youtube presentation.

We can remember all those who provide the food at our table, the farmers and those who labor to bring in the harvest, the truckers and the grocery store stockers, the bakers, the clerks. We can pause to thank Mother Earth for her bounty and reflect on how all living beings are inter-connected. We can think about our carbon footprint. Instead of feeling bad or discouraged or worried, we can decide to change something we do habitually to being more conscious and caring of our impact. 

The winter celebration of Solstice is a time of remembering that in the darkness we yearn for Light and that in dark times we can contemplate what is true, where to focus our intention, and what is meaningful. The shortest day of the year and the official beginning of winter can be a time of ritual, lighting candles or fires in the fireplace or sparklers or lanterns as a way of calling in the light. Write a letter to 2020 to throw in the fire or draw things you want to let go of. You can do it as a family. Read poems. Create an affirmation to carry you through the transition to a new era. 

Some people are already putting up their Christmas trees and decorations, needing cheer to face a long winter of social isolation. What if we also plan outreach to others? Bring back the delight of cards in the mail and include seniors at a nursing home. Think of how we can contribute to our community besides donations: buying tickets to the local BIPOC-led theater? Books from a local bookstore? Is it posting a positive meme on Facebook or a shout out to an artist you know to draw attention to their work? 

There is healing in stillness and silence. Mindfully make the coffee and start the day with reading something inspiring instead of the news. Spend a few moments in gratitude and reflect on past joys. Is is a walk in the woods, a gathering of friends around the table, a beautiful view, a moment when your heart sang? Put on some music and dance. Take out your pen and write. Cut up magazines to collage. Creativity uplifts our hearts and you don't need a lot of supplies.

Not all of us have the privilege to be in stillness and silence. Offer your silence to the world. Give your love in small ways and bigger ways. Write an encouraging newsletter instead of just recounting what you did over the past year. Suggest inspiration: podcasts, books, music, meditations that have meant something to you.

For those in busy households with kids or parents, how can you find more mindfulness? Is it singing together or handing out glue sticks and paper? Can you slow down enough to let the kids help make meals or create a quiet reading space using a blanket? Can you play a board game or bead or build with Legos together? Do yoga or make popcorn strings to wrap around the tree? Learn a new language or listen to an audio book? Can you make clean up a game instead of a chore? 

I know it takes patience and it takes cooperation. Once upon a time, we went into the dark of winter without the screen to entertain us. We sat by the fire and told stories, we mended and repaired, whittled and polished, we sat quietly. We prayed. We listened to the sounds of the fire and of the wind. We had animals to care for. We played music and we watched the stars. We made things by hand. We cherished our elders.

How can you make the holidays meaningful? What are you willing to let go of to move toward joy?

Wendy's Muse: Self-compassion and Community

Wendy's Muse: Self-compassion and Community: I n this time of change, many people are experiencing trauma or re-triggering of trauma and unsettling uncertainty while the world as...

Self-compassion and Community

In this time of change, many people are experiencing trauma or re-triggering of trauma and unsettling uncertainty while the world as we knew it is transitioning to a new reality. We may feel unsure whether it is safe to resume ordinary activities and we grieve for all our losses, personally and nationally and internationally. How do we care for ourselves with compassion and strengthen our resiliency? What parts of our lives do we need to let go of and what ideas are we envisioning and birthing? 

It is essential to practice self-care. 

That might mean resuming a yoga practice or learning yoga for the first time. It might mean becoming uncomfortable with patterns of addiction to distract ourselves and instead learn something that has meaning: a new skill, a new art form or a return to one we once loved and didn't have time for, or new ways to communicate by taking a class. It might mean that we are stuck with the face in the mirror and need to coach ourselves to speak to her or him with love and empathy. "You can do it, you are loved, you have everything you need, trust your inner heart and inner guidance." Maybe we are in silence for long stretches and have the opportunity for reflection on where we have come from and where we want to go. Or maybe we are surrounded by noisy family members: how do we carve out the quiet and solitude we need?

How about your practice of gratitude? 

Where are you using it to raise your vibration? I feel incredibly lucky to be safe and have a place to live, food in the fridge, loved ones close by, books that inspire and books for sheer entertainment, the possibility of new work, and time to contemplate the nature of God. I grieve all that is lost, all those who are suffering, all those trapped either literally in prison cells or mind cages, all that has been destroyed on our Mother Earth. So much pruning to be done, of our attitudes and beliefs and ways of commerce and health care and education and interaction and policing and politics. But grateful each day when the trees blow in the breeze in their green glory and when I recall the beautiful places I have been, even if I may never see them again. 

Wisdom is loving the mistakes we made, a wise old friend once said. How do I love my mistakes and recognize them as lamps in the dark along the way?Take this time, if you can, to eat well, exercise, meditate or practice mindfulness, reach out (virtually) to loved ones, serve your community with your gifts, whether it is marching, petitioning and writing letters, writing poems, sharing uplifting memes as well as hard truths, feeding your family or donating to the food bank, buying books from local bookstores, patronizing Black-owned businesses, comforting a child, calling an elder, showing up in difficult conversations. 

Give yourself a hug.  


Seriously: cross your right arm and place your fingers just under your ribs. Press lightly. Cross the left arm and lay your hand on your right shoulder. Lay your head on your hand and squeeze. You are the light the world is waiting for. Also if you would like a resource for self-reflective writing, my book Heart on the Page: A Portable Writing Workshop is now available at Subtext Books in Saint Paul and you also support a locally owned bookstore! https://subtextbooks.com

Self-regulation for stress, overwhelm, burn out and trauma

During this time of the pandemic and the uprising triggered by the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, we may be feeling what I call a tsunami of emotions. Our flight or fight center of the brain, the amygdala, has been triggered. We may have experienced isolation from friends and family, worry about job loss and collapse of our economic systems, loss of a home, or fear of the future. We may be aware that others are suffering even more than we are: that some of us are experiencing domestic abuse, health challenges, loss of loved ones, homelessness, or helplessness at the size of the challenges we face. Not only are we in the middle of a huge shift as we face climate change and the need for envisioning social justice, from affordable housing to our criminal justice system, from health care to systemic racism, we also are in the midst of an evolution of humankind. This evolution can take us from independent to inter-dependent, from I to we, from worrying about our own stuff to collaboration and cooperation and creating a more just society for all. But if we are resistant or confused or wounded, this may sound like a pipe dream.

On every level, we are overwhelmed. Bombarded by information, some of it true and some not. Connected via the web to the world, both the beauty and tragedies. Conflicted by so many choices to be made. Learning new technology to keep our jobs or demanding universal health care so no one is dying for lack of it.

I have the good fortune to be able to stay home and not feel isolated, due to many connections via virtual reality: podcasts, zoom meetings,webinars, videos, and phone calls. So much so, that sometimes I need a break from the human voice. I have found it challenging to keep up my writing practice and yet, I have written a manuscript during this time. It is called Spiritual Practices to Deepen Creativity, so far. What I have learned is that we can help ourselves by breathing, by slowing down and paying attention to our bodies and breath, and by focusing on gratitude, forgiveness, and service. Now, these are not easy spiritual practices and that's why I wrote a book with a chapter on each one. But I wanted to offer you right away some mindful breath practices that can help self-regulate the nervous system, re-calibrate your heart and mind, and give yourself respite and self-compassion.

I also do yoga through video, walk and sit in the park across the street, eat healthy foods, run an online writing class, and limit my scrolling through the news when I start to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I fill myself with quiet and entertain myself with shows such as Call the Midwife or Somebody Feed Phil, to uplift my spirits with humor and kindness. Fill your well with what makes your spirit rise. Come back to roll up your sleeves as you are ready.

Mindfulness Practice

1.) Calming Breath

Settle into your chair or wherever you are seated. If you feel comfortable, close your eyes or look downward and inward. Breathe in for the count of 5, hold for the count of 5, then breathe out for a longer count of 7. You can shorten or length this practice so long as the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. You can lengthen the final out-breath to end in a long sigh.

2.) Green Earth, Gold Sky

Plant feet on the floor and let shoulders relax. Close your eyes if you can. Use a visualization: Imagine green light coming up from the earth through the soles of your feet and golden light coming down through your head. As you breathe in and breathe out, green and golden light fill every cell in your body and shine out through your heart. Take 5 long intentional breaths, then come back to the room and open your eyes.

3.) Mindful Listening

Close your eyes if you feel comfortable or look inward. Take some long deep breaths and let breath out slowly. Focus your attention on sounds. What do you hear in the room you are in? What can you hear that is outside the room you are in? What can you hear inside your own body? Continue to breathe in and out and notice the moment when your in-breath becomes your out-breath and when your out-breath becomes your in-breath. When you are ready, open your eyes and come back to the room.

4.) I AM Affirmations

Settle your body comfortably and close your eyes if you feel comfortable or use a soft downward gaze. Take 3 deep breaths in and let them out slowly. Then as you breathe in, say “I AM” and as you breathe out, say “healing.” Do this until you are ready to shift to another word: breathe in “I AM” breathe out “grateful”. Breathe in “I AM”, breathe out “peaceful.” You can repeat the word or move to another word. Continue breathing with affirmations until you feel ready to just breathe a few more times, then come back to the room and open your eyes.

5.) Inner Guidance

Settle into your chair with your feet flat on the ground. Shrug your shoulders, then relax them, wiggle your toes, then relax them. Clench your fists, then relax them on your lap. Maybe roll your head a little from side to side, then relax. Take a breath in and let it out slowly. With each breath, draw in the in-breathe as deeply as you can, hold it for a count of 5, then release it as slowly as you can. On the fifth breath, let your breath out with a sigh. Do that again. Then read this affirmation:

Guidance is not something that we have to gain. It is something to which we attune. Repeat.

Here is the link to my online class:

https://app.ruzuku.com/courses/43516/about

Heart on the Page is available on Amazon

Available from BookBaby