Taking Care of Ourselves: Self-love and Gratitude

A few years ago, I remarked in my Writing for Healing group at Pathways that it takes more work to care for ourselves than ever before. By caring for ourselves, I am referring to ways to uplift our spirits. I am referring to feeling connected to each other and to our inner guidance, and living in harmony with all that is around us, including Mother Nature. To be positive and to experience calm. We feel our pain and yet we do not let it stop us from moving toward healing and wholeness. Our life force is strong and our hearts are open. Of course, this also means eating well, getting enough rest, de-stressing, exercise, gentle touch, and loving relationships. 

Here we are in 2021 with the pandemic all around us and I know people are exhausted and disheartened with the continuing social isolation, economic uncertainty and the challenges of constant family interaction, which might include a lack of privacy or abusive family dynamics. The boost of optimism during the inauguration was followed by the climate disaster in Texas, mutations of the virus, and roll out of the vaccine inhibited. 

We need to remind ourselves that we are experiencing a transition to a consciousness of our collective responsibility to care for the earth and all humankind. It may feel daunting to realize how much we need to lessen our carbon footprint. As we awaken to the sanctity of all life--knowing we share this one planet--we will have to make changes personally, and together as a country.

One simple way to uplift our spirits is to shift our focus from regret, worry, or frustration to gratitude. 

Ultimately gratitude is a practice, one that we have to be pro-active to get better at.

How can we feel grateful when life is painful, difficult, or traumatizing? When grief feels unending and even our ability to survive is precarious? We need to establish a practice that we use in good times and in bad. In difficult times, this practice might be noticing a few simple things in daily life: someone we love, something we care about, the changing skies and seasons, a memory of good times, a scent, a set of colored pens, a book from the library, our own strong hands or feet, words of wisdom from our ancestors, or that someone loved us when we were a child. I have lived in places where we had to haul cold water from a faucet as there was no indoor plumbing, and to this day I am grateful when hot water comes out of the tap. I have heard trees crashing along the street during a storm and to this day, I say a prayer of thanks for a home. If your home is not safe or you can't turn on hot water, are there other things you can be grateful for: the neighbor who sheltered you, your strong arms that can carry buckets, the fruit you picked from a tree, the sunrise? 

Why is this so important? Gratitude strengthens us, boosts our immune system, and increases our ability to be flexible and to reach out. Gratitude is like a magnet, attracting more good into our life. Or maybe by shifting our focus, we see the good that is already there, or recognize the good that is possible. 

What if at the end of the day we thanked ourselves for our tenacity, our determination, our willingness, our love, our kindness? What if we were grateful for our dreams, for not giving up, for believing in a better world? How would that change our identity, our sense of who we are, and give us support to keep moving? What if we think of social isolation as a gift of time to reflect and get in touch with our inner voice and of our exhaustion as permission to find respite and to detach from the world a bit? 

We are so much more than our worst days. We are creative and our minds are very powerful. From years of leading writing workshops, I know our biggest challenge is to love ourselves unconditionally, not because of what we do but just because we are. If we are here, as Joanna Macy says, we belong. If we are here, we deserve to be loved. Take a moment and reflect on the ways you are grateful that you showed up during this time of planetary transformation. You have what it takes to be an authentic loving masterful human being.